I am Thom.
Pushing 270 lbs, out of breath and strength, and thinking a bushy beard would cover up and steal attention from a body that was simply not working the way it should.
I’m a middle-aged gay man with a fairly common story. With a childhood that was challenging in many ways, not least of all including figuring out who I was, I was your standard scared, bookish, people-pleasing-as-defense young man who had no idea what it meant to take care of himself for himself.
After high school, and right before I came out of the closet, I had fallen into a deep, anxious pit and took that all out on my body. I had lost control of my life.
I fell into disordered eating, and drove my weight down (along with every other part of my energy, spirit, and self) to a place that was neither sustainable nor healthy for my body. When things got seemingly better? The switch flipped, and suddenly I was ballooning back up in size, as though I was making up for all the lost time (and calories) that I’d denied myself. Nothing was consistent, nothing was sustainable. I would ping-pong between thin and weak, and heavy and tired.
After coming out? Things did not get better. It felt like going from the proverbial frying pan and straight into the fire. Body image, seeking partnership with someone, finding where I belonged in the wider community…these pressures kept piling up. Along the way, I’d developed even more unhealthy coping skills to avoid dealing with the underlying issues in my life. Smoking, drinking, running myself ragged on a few hours of sleep…
Over and over, this happened across my 20s and 30s.
Making it to forty felt like a milestone for me, so I took myself to the doctor’s for a check up and physical. It felt like a thing I needed to start doing with some regularity. This of course included a basic blood test and physical.
I was a heavy smoker, drinker, and still caught up in a world of diet and nutrition advice that send me spiraling every single day.
The results from that physical and blood test?
Not great. At all.
I wanted time.
“Trust the Process” was something my coach was constantly reminding me. Hitting plateaus, not being able to see the totality of my choices and actions, and hitting so many mental road blocks, often threatened to de-rail me from my wellness journey.
When my doctor looked at me, square in the face, and started to mention all the maintenance meds that members of my family had been on for years, all I could think was “Not yet, please.”
I knew, for a fact, I wasn’t ready to be in and out of the doctor’s office, having blood drawn and meds changed over and over. I didn’t want to struggle with the medicines, the side effects, and given what I’d seen as a kid growing up (I come from a long line of people with health issues related to weight, exercise, and poor diets), I knew there had to be other options for me to attempt.
I wanted to know if I could get my arms around my health before I relied on medicine and science to do some of the lifting for me.
I asked my doctor for a slice of time to get my proverbial house in order. He gave me six months.
I went to the internet, almost immediately, and went searching for a solution that would work for me. Immediately, I swore off the things I’d tried before - and that list was long, and circuitous.
At that point I’d done:
intermittent fasting
keto
low-fat
vegan
I’d also:
ran myself into the ground (literally, I fell to the ground, with torn cartilage)
signed up and cancelled SO MANY gym memberships
scrolled social media blindly, letting myself fall into despair about how perfect they were, and how broken I was.
When I found advice that that made sense, that sent a feeling of “huh, that doesn’t sound goofy at all” - I knew I’d landed on something good and right for me. My instincts perked up and said yes.
This journey has been transformative.
Midlife, with Empowerment
I’m well on my way to fifty years old, and I can say, proudly, that I’m really happy. Every day presents a new chance to make better choices than the day before, and even though there’s a few more rings around my tree trunk, there remains a playful, excited, curious boy within me, who’s constantly seeking ways to make his time on this earth even more enriched and joyful.
Sober, non-smoking, stronger than ever, and doing my best to show up for myself and those I care for in a fair and balanced way, I know I’ve come a very long way from where I started.
I’m never too proud to say I don’t know something, and when I’m challenged by something new and different, my eyes light up with excitement and curiosity. That sense of “I don’t know, but I wanna find out!” has been my guiding principle, and is something that I bring to every coaching session I get to be part of.
Unlocking the basics around sleep, hydration, movement, and food has provided me with the solid foundation to continue to grow and change and become an even better version of myself, as I head into this second act of my life.
I invite you to join me.
All it takes is a conversation.
Click below, book your free consultation, and let’s chat.
Let’s Talk Face to Face
Book an hour with Coach Thom!
(we may not need the full 60 minutes, and no, this isn’t just another sales call)
Bring all of your questions, even the weird ones, and let’s figure out how having a Coach in Your Pocket could help you achieve those goals.
